I feel like I need to add a warning that this next part discusses things in detail and may be slightly graphic when talking about what happened after I’d delivered Alfie…
I felt like superwoman.
Alfie was put on my chest for skin to skin and there was just such a hive of activity going on. Mum was crying, Michael looked like he was going to burst in to tears and look totally overwhelmed and overjoyed, the midwives were clearing things up and sorting paperwork out.
I was just plain exhausted. I had a little cuddle with Alfie and tried to latch him on for a feed, but he didn’t seem interested and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing in terms of breast feeding and getting him to latch on correctly, so he didn’t feed at that point. I figured that we would try again later.
I was told I still needed to deliver the placenta so would still get contractions and to use the gas and air if I needed it. I may have been naïve here but nobody told me that I would still get the contractions to deliver the placenta – I think I assumed it would come just after the baby. I was offered the injection in my leg to speed it up, but foolishly declined. I wanted to do as much of this on my own as I could.
I handed Alfie over to Michael so he could have a quick cuddle before he went off for his checks…
Michael had been looking after Alfie and Mum had a cuddle with him too and they’d got him dressed whilst I was still having contractions waiting for the placenta. Michael was so scared of breaking him and watching the video back really makes me smile because I’ve never seen anyone be so gentle with a baby. I was still in the same place on the bed and at the time, I was so happy to let Michael have all those first cuddles. I’d bonded with this little baby for 9 months, whilst I’d carried him and kept him safe. I’d had moments in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep and I only had my baby’s kicks for company, times where I’d been struggling and the baby would kick and remind me of how much life was about to change. Some days I felt like it was just me and my baby against the world. Now it was Michael’s time. He’d waited so long to be a Daddy and to meet his baby and I was more than happy for him to have his time now to bond. It was amazing to watch and see the love between them so early on.
After an hour when I’d still not delivered the placenta, I relented and asked for the injection. Within about 10 minutes, it was out.
Finally. I could relax a bit.
I was told that I had a second degree tear, so would need to be stitched up but as the doctor was in surgery, I’d have to wait for about an hour. (yes, really)!
At some point throughout all this, Michael had been out to announce our news to the family. They were all on pins waiting to meet him, but they’d need to wait until I’d moved up to the ward now. I felt really bad that they’d all been there all day and they still couldn’t meet him.
Mum had given us some time alone, which was appreciated. I was still in such a daze and felt so out of it after the gas and air and felt like I couldn’t really take anything in. We did manage to get some photo’s but a few of them were taken by me lying down in bed, so they’re not the best, nor is the quality great, but they’re the first pictures of him and I couldn’t love them any more.
It was an hour before the doctor arrived to stitch me up and I’m not going to lie – it was horrific. Due to it taking an hour for the placenta and then another hour before the doctor arrived, a lot of the numbness from labour had gone. I had an injection to numb the area before I was stitched up, but it didn’t work and I felt everything, so much so they tried to give me another injection to numb me again. Which again, didn’t seem to work and I could still feel every single stitch. This, by far, was the worst part of the whole experience and it made giving birth seem like a walk in the park!
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it was over. I was in agony for days afterwards, but at least the hardest bit was over and I could now enjoy my baby.
I was so looking forward to starting life as a family of three. Me and My Boys. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world!