Dear Nate, You are 3 months old!

Dear Nate,

I’m not quite sure how it happened but you are already three months old (almost four months)! It seems like only yesterday I was going to hospital and preparing to meet you and I cannot get my head around how fast the last three months have gone! I started to write weekly updates for you but only got as far as 6-7 weeks before life got in the way. I have kept up with them on Instagram, so I do have them all to look back on, but going forward, I’ll be doing monthly updates instead of weekly.

I feel like you’ve always been here and I struggle to remember life before you. It’s not been an easy three months as you suffer terribly with wind. When you were five weeks old I took you to be weighed and  mentioned that you suffer badly with wind. I was told this was unusual for a breastfed baby so you were checked for tongue tie. The health visitor confirmed you had posterior tongue tie and referred us to Oldham hospital. However, as the waiting list was six weeks, we decided to go private which was a lot of money but we were desperate to get you sorted and to stop the constant crying. It was hard on us, hard on you and especially hard on Alfie. So the Sunday before Christmas off we went to Huddersfield to have your tongue tie snipped. I hated seeing you in so much pain but it was over in seconds. Over the next few weeks, your latch did get better but your wind and tummy troubles did not. From age two to five weeks your skin was really bad as you had baby acne. It was at its worst when you were five weeks old but luckily I managed to clear it with Kokoso coconut oil. After Christmas your skin started to get dry again so I took you to the doctor on the day you had your first injections. He gave me a steroid cream to clear you skin but mentioned that you could have a cows milk protein allergy (cmpa)! The cream cleared your skin but your wind only improved slightly (you were also on colief drops). Back to the doctors we went and this time we were told that it’s unusual for breastfed babies to have cmpa and he thought it was colic which you would grow out of by 20 weeks. You have gotten better over the last couple of weeks but I really wish I could take your pain away. If you are still suffering by 20 weeks then I’ll have to consider going dairy free if I want to carry on breastfeeding.

Speaking of breastfeeding, I cannot believe that three months in and you’re still being fed by me. There is nobody more surprised than I am. Especially given how easily I gave up with your brother. I think that made me more determined not to fail at it this time. There was many times in those first few weeks where I almost quit, mastitis, bruised nipples, latching issues but we overcame them all. When I realised I may have to stop feeding you if I didn’t want to go dairy free it actually broke my heart a little bit. I’ve absolutely adored this journey with you and I feel like it’s helped me bond differently with you than with your brother.

In turn you are such a Mummy’s boy. You love to sleep on my chest, you save your best smiles for me and although you will go to other people for cuddles, you are happiest in my arms. I love that you need me so much. I never thought I’d be a breastfeeding, bed sharing, baby wearing Mama the second time but I love every minute.

I love that you sleep with me at night rather than in your next to me crib. You have spent a few nights in it, but you sleep much better curled up under my arm and I’m happy to let it continue because I know you won’t always be this small or need me so much. You are actually a really good sleeper and for the most part have only woken once a night from being around five or six weeks old  and once you’ve had a feed you will go straight back to sleep until Daddy and Alfie get up and you’ll have another feed and then sleep until 9am / 10am.

Recently you have found your voice and have the cutest baby babble and Daddy made you laugh for the first time last weekend which I managed to capture on camera. It’s the most gorgeous sound. As well as finding your voice, you’ve also found your fists and your fingers and will quite happily chomp and suck away on them in favour of your dummy. We think teething has started as last weekend you were really unhappy and spent so much time crying that you started to lose your little voice and it was really hoarse, which just made me so sad. Thankfully, it did seem to only last a couple of days, but I think it is just the start of your teething journey. I’m not ready for you to have little toothy pegs yet. They change your whole smile and I am desperate to keep that gummy smile for a while longer.

You are such a pleasant baby when you have not got a poorly tummy and every comments on how beautiful you are. I recently took you in to my work and all the ladies were cooing over you and you loved the attention!

I’m going to leave it there for now, or you will be one by the time you finish reading this.

Mummy loves you to the moon and back


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