This week seems to have gone really quickly as I’ve only had three days on my own with the boys thanks to Michael having Monday and Tuesday off work.
On Monday, I left Nate for the first time. I’m due back to work in July and up until last weekend I hadn’t been away from him for longer than half an hour whilst I went for a bath! Saturday and Sunday last week Michael took both boys out – on Saturday to pick the shopping up then on Sunday then nipped to the tip. It was strange being home alone. I’m used to Alfie not being here as he goes to nursery, but it felt really odd not being with Nate. I was glad when they got back. On Monday, I decided it was time to leave him properly. With Michael being off work and Alfie being at nursery, we decided it would be a good time for me to leave him as I would be with Michael. My inlaws have very kindly agreed to have him for one day a week when I return to work in the Summer so we need to work on getting them all used to each other. It was such a surprise to Michael and I when they offered as we really didn’t think they’d be able to help this time round (they also looked after Alfie for us from being 9 months old, varying from having him two full days a week, to a couple of morning’s a week and it’s been a huge help). I knew it was the right time to leave him now that he is four months old, but it didn’t stop me feeling anxious. It’s not that I don’t trust my inlaws, because I trust them completely, as I do with my parents, but leaving Nate has felt somewhat harder than leaving Alfie, who I first left Alfie when he was three days old (just to pop to the shop), but he also slept out at 10 weeks old and we left him for a few hours at two weeks old when we picked up our new car. I don’t know what it is with Nate though. Part of me thinks it’s because I breastfeed on demand. He doesn’t have a set feeding schedule therefore, it’s not just as simple as saying he’s due a feed at 2pm for example. I look for his cues to know when he needs a feed. I tried not to think about leaving him too much and when the day came we took him to my inlaw’s and I gave him a quick feed before we left. Luckily, it was his nap time whilst we were out, so my mother in law took him out in his pram and he went to sleep. Millie has lived where she lives for 40 odd years and said she was stopped by lots of people, eager to meet Nate and see him which I just think is lovely. Whilst Nate was with his Nan and Grandad, Michael and I went to a new coffee shop and I must admit it was lovely being able to properly talk to Michael without having to entertain Alfie or push Nate in his pram. I think I am going to have to do it more often as it gets closer to me starting work.
Tuesday was Michael’s birthday which was just a simple day. We went for a pub lunch with his parents, then afterwards had a walk to the train station as Alfie loves looking for trains. Sadly there wasn’t any, so we decided to go for a coffee and then bowling instead. Luckily Nate slept as soon as we sat down to eat then again at bowling. I always feel such pressure to make Michael’s birthday special, but the older he gets the less he’s interested in a fuss being made. He was happy to have the family gathering at his parents last week and last night my parents and sister came round for a take away and he seemed happy with that.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were tough. Nate is in the midst of teething and he’s really suffered this week. Some days he’s been so clingy and whingy and there’s just nothing I can do to make him better. We’ve tried bonjela, calpol, nurofen, teething granules, bickie pegs but nothing seems to touch it. I really feel for him, but I know it’s one of those things which all babies go through and we just have to ride it out and make him as comfortable as we can.
As much as I want him to cut his first tooth to take away his pain, I’m not ready for him to have a tooth yet because I know it’ll completely alter the way his face looks. I’m not ready to say bye to that gummy smile just yet.
We’ve also gone backwards with Alfie’s behaviour. For a few weeks he was perfectly behaved when we went out and was a joy to spend time with – really loving, being helpful, doing as he’s told, but the last couple of weeks, he’s been back to not listening, lashing out, hitting, shouting and just generally being hard work. We are both at a loss as to what to do. At four, he really should have outgrown this kind of behaviour now. But again, I think it’s something we’re just going to have to ride out.
I’m hoping next week will be a much more positive week!