Nate

Nate, You are five months old

Dear Nate,

Another month has passed and I can’t believe your are already five months old! I feel terrible as I didn’t do a four month update. However, I still take your picture weekly and post a bit of an update on my Instagram page so I can always look back and see exactly how the week has been.

It’s been a bit of an up and down couple of months as I felt like we’d really turned a corner – you were settling better in the evening’s, usually around 7-8pm and you were only waking for a feed then going back to sleep and maybe waking once a night for a feed and would go back to sleep until the morning. However, since you had your last lot of injections, your routine has gone out of the window. The first two lots of injections you had I was so proud as you only cried for 30 seconds or so, then you were ok and you didn’t seem to have any side effects afterwards either. I was dreading the four month ones though, as I know they are the worst of the lot. Once again though, I was so proud of you – after a little bit of crying, you were ok again and you even managed to smile at Auntie Emily who came with us, when we were in the waiting room waiting to leave. In the hours after, you seemed really unhappy and for the next few days you were really unhappy and such a sad little thing. You would wake up crying in the morning and it would last pretty much most of the day and even during the night. No amount of cuddles or milk would settle you.

I’m not sure if it was just the injections or a combinations of things as you have also been suffering with teething – there’s no toothy peg there yet, but you are dribbling a lot more and chewing your hands all the time still. I’ve bought you a few teething toys, but as yet you haven’t quite mastered holding something and putting it in your mouth. Except for muslin’s and bickie pegs, you have no problem putting these in your mouth and love chewing on them, but as for toys, you hold them there a few seconds then go back to chewing your fingers. We have tried everything -bonjela, teething granules, bickie pegs, an amber teething bracelet, calpol and nurofen but some days, nothing seems to touch it and I feel so helpless. It’s been really hard. Completely overwhelming some days and I’ve counted the minutes until Daddy has got home just so I can have a little break. You’ve started to make this grunting noise too which can be quite frustrating for us both, but we are doing the best we can to help you through this period.

I feel like we’ve also recently hit the four months sleep regression – albeit a few weeks later. As I mentioned, you were a really good sleeper, settling in the early evening, then only waking once or maybe twice a night. However, your naps seem to be getting shorter, but you’re having more of them throughout the day and in the evening you will fall asleep, sometimes only for 30  minutes then be up until very late. At the moment, you are still downstairs with us in the evening’s. This is something which I desperately want to change as I’m eager to get you into a routine of going to bed, but it’s so tricky as ideally I would like to take you up to bed around 7.30 as that’s when you seem to get tired, but this is the time which Alfie goes for his bath and him and Daddy are very, very noisy when they are upstairs as they have some playtime before and after the bath. I feel unfair telling Alfie he can’t play with Daddy anymore as I know it’s his favourite part of the day, but at the same time it’s not fair on you to be sleeping downstairs with us until I bring you to bed around 10pm. I’m not sure what we are going to do or how we are going to resolve this issue but I hope by the time you are six month, we’ve managed to get you into some kind of routine so Daddy and I can have some time together in the evening’s.

In terms of development, you rolled over for the first time on 25 March – the day before Motber’s Day, but you’ve not gone all the way over again since! When Alfie  was your age, I really encouraged him to hit all these milestones, but with you, I’m more than happy to let you do things in your own time. I always try to gently guide you, but we don’t specifically practice like I did with your brother. You have found your feet in the last couple of weeks and if you are lay down, they are always in your hands (if you hands are not in your mouth)! It’s the sweetest thing and I love watching you discover new things.

You enjoy being under your jungle gym play mat and will grab the things and look at all the different toys. A few times when I’ve been in the kitchen cooking and you’ve been on your mat, I’ve caught you watching fireman Sam with Alfie which is just so cute. Another thing you also enjoy is your brother’s old swing. It’s been an absolute blessing as you tend to go in it whilst I’m making my lunch or cooking the tea if you are awake. You will happily sit there swinging away whilst watching me and listening to either your music or white noise. It’s possibly the best baby product we have and I’m so pleased we kept it after Alfie had outgrown it.

The past few weeks, you’ve grown a stronger bond with Daddy and you always have the biggest smiles for him when he gets home from work. Although you are still a complete Mummy’s boy, there is nobody who can make you giggle like your Daddy can. I am hoping you don’t turn into a Daddy’s boy like your brother did 😉

We are still breastfeeding and I honestly can’t believe we’ve got to five months. I feel so incredibly proud and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. In the beginning, I really didn’t think I would get to five days, so to still be exclusively feeding you five months on feels like a real achievement. I am so proud. I’ve even got past my anxiety about feeding you in public now and had fed you quite a few times whilst out and about and it doesn’t bother me at all. Thankfully I’ve not experienced any negativity as I know some mother’s do. I really want to keep feeding until you are one now – that is my goal. As we race towards your sixth month, I need to start thinking about weaning you. In all honesty, I’m not ready to wean you because I feel quite sad that you won’t be exclusively fed by me anymore. I worked so hard to be able to feed you and I was so determined not to give up. It almost feels like we’ve just got the hang of it and I now need to think about giving you food. I’m not sure if I’m going to give you puree or do baby led weaning yet. I may even not start until you are seven months, because at the moment you are not sturdy enough – you can hold your head up, but if I sit you up on my knee, you tend to flop forward, so I’m just going to see how it goes and take it one step at a time. I’m in no rush for you to be eating proper food yet. Although, that said I know Daddy is looking forward to it so he can feed you as I know he’s found it hard not being able to help with feeding. Your Nan and Grandad have bought you a high chair today as your Easter present so I’m going to get you used to sitting in that first and sitting at the table with us and take it from there I think.

You are still sleeping with me which again is something I want to change. I have been trying to get you to sleep in your next to me crib and some nights you will settle in it whereas other nights you will wake as soon as I put you in it. I think it may be your sleeping bag that you are not keen on as it’s quite restrictive, which you don’t like. I’m going to get a bigger one so you have more room to move your legs to see if that makes a difference. I think the longest you’ve slept in it so far is from about midnight to 4.30/5am but it was a one off. You just seem happier sleeping with, so for now we’re just going with it.

I will draw this letter to a close now.

I love you so much my darling boy, thank you for being mine.

Mummy xxx

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