Six months! 26 Weeks, half a year. I’m not quite sure where the last six months have gone, I feel like I blinked and I missed it. I still remember everything so clearly – driving to hospital knowing you were on the way, not knowing if you were a boy or a girl. I remember when I got the urge to push and I was scared because I didn’t think I’d been in hospital long enough. I remember so clearly you being born and holding you for that first time and being so overwhelmed with emotion and I was on such a high. It feels like yesterday.
But it was half a year ago! The last six months have been a bit of a whirlwind. Exhausting in parts, overwhelming in others. A complete blur of night feeds, broken sleep, getting to know you, learning how to breastfeed, trying to encourage a relationship between you and your brother. It’s not been easy as you’ve been quite a colicky baby and recently have started to suffer again, but my heart is just so full of love for you. You are a complete and utter Mama’s boy and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When I decided I wanted to breastfeed this time, I really didn’t think I’d be able to stick at it. I didn’t think it’d be for me because I didn’t have a great experience when I tried to feed your brother. How wrong I was. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I feel so proud for getting this far. I remember when I would spend ages trying to express enough for a bottle to take out because I wasn’t confident enough to feed in public, but now it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m so glad I persevered in those early weeks as it really does get easier. That said we’ve actually had a bit of trouble this month due to me getting an infection. I think you latched on incorrectly during a night feed and broke the skin, which gradually got worse until I had a lip shaped blister on my nipple and two cuts – it became excruciating to feed to from the injured side and it was so tender but I’m on antibiotics after finally seeing a doctor and already I’m seeing a huge improvement. I was worried for a while that it might result in the end of our journey but I’m pleased to say it’s not. As I write this, you are actually closer to seven months and my goal is to get to a year. I think if I do it’ll be my greatest achievement along with having you and your brother.
We still don’t have any kind of routine and some nights when you wake at nine then don’t go back down until 11 or 12, I get frustrated and sometimes it all just gets too much and I have to ask Daddy to try to get you back to sleep, but then other nights I’m fine with it because I know you won’t always need me. We move house next week and I’m really determined to sort your sleep out. At present you nap in my arms if we are at home and we still co-sleep which I love but I’m beginning to get concerned that you’ll never learn to settle without me and as such I’ve not yet left you in an evening, not even with Daddy, but after six months, I know I’m going to have to do it soon. Besides, I’d quite like to go out for a meal with Daddy.
Alfie has taken much more interest in you this month and will play lots more with you now and really interacts with you (if he’s in the mood)! You on the other hand absolutely adore Alfie. Your face lights up whenever you see him and you give him the biggest smiles. I think you’re going to be his shadow as you get bigger.
There’s no real milestones to talk about as you’re still not sitting, but can roll very confidently now. We’ve started to test the waters with weaning but you’re in no routine with food. Sometimes you want it. Sometimes you don’t. And that’s fine. I’m in no rush to put you on three meals a day just yet.
You are such a happy little soul Nate and everyone who sees you comments on how happy and smiley you are. You give me the best cuddles and kisses and look at me with eyes full of love. My mama’s boy, I love you so much.
All my love,